Inspiration for Today

This is one sequel I will be seeing

To Your Health

This saying is framed on the walls of my doctor's office:

"For one sick, six things are good: to sneeze, to perspire, to open the bowels, to emit semen, to sleep and to dream."
– adapted from Talmud Berakoth 57b.

Hey, it feels good after you do each of these, so why not combine them? It's like when George Costanza combined all of his passions. He ate, watched TV and had sex at the same time.



From Seinfeldscripts.com:

[Monk's Cafe. Jerry and George.]

Jerry: So, the free love buffet is over?

George: I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.

[George eats a sandwich and gets flustered.]

Jerry: What's going on?

George: I don't know. This sandwich is making me flush.

Jerry: Oh no, I'll tell you what you did Caligula; you combined food and sex in to one disgusting uncontrollable urge.

George: I think you're right. You gonna eat that?

Jerry: No, but please tell me that's all you're gonna do with it.

Happy Hour

A few years ago, the Kansas City Zoo put an ad in the paper that didn't sit well with many people.



As so often happens when you use Google to search for things, you run across similar, and sometimes more interesting imagery. I present to you a collection of images, and then I ask you:

"Which animal are you?"

Go, Little Fucker, Go!

Inspiration for Today

Good Times

You don't have to drink to have a good time with your friends. Really. But I will say that it's great when you can share some good whisky with your buddies.

We went on our annual Fall camping trip. I tell you, Fall is the best. The colors, the crisp air - you just can't beat it. It's so great to get away and have your only decision to be "should I fish, or should I not fish". After a few days of road tripping, laughing your ass off and general good timeseyness it sure is a pain in the ass to get back to working for a living.

Until next time,

Good food. Good conversation. Good times, lads. Good times.

Inspiration for Today

Honesty in Politics

Whatever your allegiance, this is still funny.

Inspiration for Today

Let's Get this Election Over Already

Enough of the bullshit. I'm tired of hearing the ads. I'm tired of getting phone calls. I'm tired of the junk mail. There should be a new law that limits the length of time the candidates are allowed to campaign.

Sword Fight

Happy Birthday, Dice

Today is your birthday, Diceman. Here's to you . . . . . SUCKIN' MY DICK! OOOOOOOHHHHHH!

Inspiration for Today

The Art of Dan Collins

Dan Collins has been doing published cartoons for 30 years. Some people are familiar with his work in "gentlemen's magazines". He's also been on greeting cards, newspapers and books. He ranges from the generic funny comic to the "Oh, fuck, that's sick but it's still funny" comic. You can check out his comics at dancollinscartoons.com. Just to make sure to tell you, several of his comics are NSFW, or really, most places anymore.

Beware of Smoke

epiphany

I got one of those cheapass knock-off MP3 players for being on the same job for 10 years and I had a buddy load some stuff on it, which he gladly did.  I was in the middle of some mundane, git it done project when Robert Earl Keen's "Christmas from the Family" came on.    I don't know why I had to put every thing down and laugh myself silly, but the song just struck a very deep chord as a true portrait of what sort of stock I came from.  I pretend to be refined and genteel, but truth be told,  I have spent several Christmases making a run to the Kwik Mart with my cousins for Busch Lite, some margarita mix, a box of tampons and some Salem Lites.   Of course, it does help to watch the video a few times to really get the picture, since the guy who plays the singer's brother in the song bears a scary resemblance to yours truly.    The reason that I found this little ditty so deeply funny is that after spending a lot of time with my cousins this summer, I realized that my extended family story looks more like "Raising Arizona" than "The Waltons."  I have 2 cousins who have, or are doing hard time.  I have 6 cousins who have, or are serving in the military and 2 of them graduated from service academies and even a couple who are drawing disability long before they are able to retire.  Upper crust indeed.      I'm taking that little moment to mean that I should be happy with who I am and where I came from and that the so-called "riff-raff" in the family makes for a great story and for a source of pride, because, even though I know how to clean up good, sometimes that "eye of the outlaw" shows up in me and the best thing I can do is hope that I don't get caught...   even if I was wearing a panty-hose on my head.   Thanks Robert Earl for telling my family story so well that it makes me giggle even as I write this.

Inspiration for Today

Brrrrrmmmmmpppphhhhhh! Brrrrrmmmmmppppphhhhhh! You motor-boatin' son of a bitch!

A Swift Kick in the Butt

The Great Bill Watterson commented on his artwork in "The
Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book":

"People will pay for what they want, but not for what they need."

Amen, Bill. Amen.

Bitch Slap

Bugs would have been a great pimp. He looked cool slapping the shit out of someone, and it looked like he had a good time doing it.

If you had the chance to be Bugs Bunny for a day, would you do it?

Inspiration for Today

Everybody is good at something.

Sense of Humor (Part 2)

Do You Believe in Angels?

Well, do you?

I tell you, if this is my angel, I'm fucked.

One in a Million Photo

Talk about having your camera ready at the right time. Sheesh.

Sense of Humor

It's good when people have a sense of humor. It sure sucks when they don't.

I love good advertising