Thiz shit has got to stop

Just when the fuck did it become socially acceptable to misspell words? People are always putting a z on the end of a word instead of making it properly plural. It only becomes worse when they combine it with improper spelling. Dawgz, boyz, Katrinaz boifriend, ez gurl, Bobbyz Burger Howse. What the fuck is going on here? No wonder people hate America. When I see shit like that, I hate America. I don't applaud the freedom we have to express ourselves, I want to find these people and their parents and punch them in the fucking throat. It's not cute, people. It's stupid. Stop it.

If you work at a sign shop, or provide a service to create something that is displayed, you have a responsibility. Correct the mistakes. If you cannot spot the mistakes, try a spell check. Chances are, you are using a computer. The ability to check spelling has been on computers for quite a while. If you look, you may find that there is also software on your computer that checks for proper use of grammar. These tools are there because people are stupid. Use them. If you still have a problem, then we must employ what is called "thinning of the herd".

Remember to also check your use of the apostrophe. Just because a word has an s on the end of it, that doesn't mean you need to automatically put one in "just in case".

I hope this rant has helped at least one person. If anyone is offended, I say, "Eat shit, muthafukkaz."

The evolution of a word

Words change their meaning over time. Some change a little, others really transform. Sometimes, not just the meaning changes, but the impact as well.

Take the word "extreme" for example. It gets used so often that it has lost its place as a word that really means something. Chevy put it on a piece of shit truck, for crying out loud. When someone tells me that they want something taken to the extreme, I think of that abomination of automotive engineering and marketing. The ad agency for GM should have put it truthfully:

Chevy Extreme: the same piece of shit we sold yesterday, but with more plastic on it. That's it people, we've reached the pinnacle. This is as good as it gets.

We had a debate around work about what the term "gay" really means anymore. It used to mean "lighthearted and carefree; characterized by cheerfulness or pleasure; brightly colored; showy; brilliant". Some time in the 20th Century, it changed to mean "homosexual", and loosely referred to lesbianism. Now it means, well, "gay". If someone says, "that shirt looks gay", I don't think they are saying it is "brightly colored, showy or brilliant". They don't like it. The shirt obviously isn't going to have inter-gender sex with another shirt, and they most certainly aren't telling me they like the shirt's cheerfulness.

The word "gay" has taken on a whole new transformation into something generic. Its versatility should make other words jealous. You can use it in place of "stupid", "ugly", "sloppy" or any number or words. Not only that, you can use it to convey an emotion, or fill in when you just can't find the right words.

Jane: "This pencil is not working."
Dick: "That is gay."

It really means nothing, but yet it is powerful enough to convey a message. Some years ago, I was blessed to receive an audio file that was an English lesson on the use of the word "fuck". The argument was that it was the most versatile word, and gave examples like:

"John fucked Shirley."
"Shirley fucks."
"I got fucked at the used car lot."
"Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?"

Now, I wouldn't be so bold as to suggest that the word "gay" can trump the word "fuck". That would be ludicrous. There may come a day, however, that it will be argued amongst social etiquette artists and a new edict will emerge.

Gay is the new Fuck.

Is it just me?

Fall is here. The best season. The colors. The arrival of cool, crisp air. So, is it just me, or when a woman comes in from the outside, and exclaims that "it's chilly", do you instantly look at her nipples?